Is it normal if one wants to die?

I feel the urge to die but don't know why? Is this a normal feeling for a 19 year old? I use to be depressed but I don't believe I am depress at this moment of my life. I just had a car accident where I should have died but something kept me here on this planet, but I wish I had left that night to a better place. Friends and family say I have something great in me, but I just don't know what they see in me. I want to become a painter or something with drawing but don't know if I really want to do that with my life. I really don't know, death attracts me right now more then anything else in life. There is no pain, suffering or love after death and that's what I want. Is this a normal feeling am I mentally Ill or this a part of growing up?